The first thing I am going to have to admit in this post is the fact that I am not very good at following the advice I am about to give. That is actually one of the reasons I wanted to write this post though. I need to remind myself that limiting my options is always a choice and sometimes it is a very good choice to make!
So what am I talking about here? I am talking about how life is so complicated these days. Many families have
Showing posts with label Parenting Tips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting Tips. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Parenting Tip: Do Yourself a Favor and Get Over Not Having Enough "Me" Time
Let's face it, when you are a parent "me" time is pretty non-existent when you are raising young children. ESPECIALLY if you work full time, which is the case for me and my husband.
Over the years I really have come to accept this as a fact; so has my husband. I honestly wish more people would do the same, I think they would be more at peace if they did.
When I think about Ma and Pa raising their family, I realize they probably never once had an argument about needing more "me" time. They worked hard every day living off the land and taking care of their family. Most days they had some time to do the things they loved like playing the fiddle or carving for Pa and sewing or writing a letter to far away family for Ma. I am pretty sure they just enjoyed the small bits of "me" time they were able to get and they probably never even thought about it as "me" time or worried about trying to get "enough" of it.
I think part of the reason is the fact that they lived a more balanced life than most of us do in these hectic modern times. But I also think a lot of it has to do with attitude and values. Ma and Pa valued family above all else as far as I can tell from reading about their lives. For any of you reading this who have raised a family or are in the process of raising a family, I am sure you can agree that things go a lot smoother when all family members feel equally valued and loved. This helps everyone want to work together and be a part of the family team. I think you will also agree that getting this to happen takes A LOT of quality time and there is only so much time in a day.
If you are a couple raising a family there is barely any time left for you to focus on each other and your relationship. Making time for this is VERY important! The 2nd highest time for divorce is when all the kids grow up and leave the house. Don't make it all about the kids, you need to make sure there is time for you and your partner!
Now let's get back to the "me" time thing. The reality of the situation is that after you are done spending the quality time it takes to have a happy stable family and marriage there really just isn't much time left for "me" time. I am not saying that you have to sacrifice all "me" time to have a happy family and marriage, I am just saying we all need to be more realistic about how much time we really can have to do things just for ourselves and still have a happy family and marriage. I also think we need to be a little more creative about what we classify as "me" time and find ways to see the "me" time in the little daily routines and surprises. Look for more posts on how to do just that coming soon!
My overall advice is to not really put too much focus on getting enough of this revered "me" time. Just live your life like Ma and Pa; enjoy the little bits of "me" time that naturally fit into any given day. Don't try to force it, or schedule it, or agonize over it. When your kids are grown and gone and you retire you are going to find you have a lot more "me" time than you ever wanted. Go visit any lonely person in a retirement home if you don't believe me.
Over the years I really have come to accept this as a fact; so has my husband. I honestly wish more people would do the same, I think they would be more at peace if they did.
When I think about Ma and Pa raising their family, I realize they probably never once had an argument about needing more "me" time. They worked hard every day living off the land and taking care of their family. Most days they had some time to do the things they loved like playing the fiddle or carving for Pa and sewing or writing a letter to far away family for Ma. I am pretty sure they just enjoyed the small bits of "me" time they were able to get and they probably never even thought about it as "me" time or worried about trying to get "enough" of it.
I think part of the reason is the fact that they lived a more balanced life than most of us do in these hectic modern times. But I also think a lot of it has to do with attitude and values. Ma and Pa valued family above all else as far as I can tell from reading about their lives. For any of you reading this who have raised a family or are in the process of raising a family, I am sure you can agree that things go a lot smoother when all family members feel equally valued and loved. This helps everyone want to work together and be a part of the family team. I think you will also agree that getting this to happen takes A LOT of quality time and there is only so much time in a day.
If you are a couple raising a family there is barely any time left for you to focus on each other and your relationship. Making time for this is VERY important! The 2nd highest time for divorce is when all the kids grow up and leave the house. Don't make it all about the kids, you need to make sure there is time for you and your partner!
Now let's get back to the "me" time thing. The reality of the situation is that after you are done spending the quality time it takes to have a happy stable family and marriage there really just isn't much time left for "me" time. I am not saying that you have to sacrifice all "me" time to have a happy family and marriage, I am just saying we all need to be more realistic about how much time we really can have to do things just for ourselves and still have a happy family and marriage. I also think we need to be a little more creative about what we classify as "me" time and find ways to see the "me" time in the little daily routines and surprises. Look for more posts on how to do just that coming soon!
My overall advice is to not really put too much focus on getting enough of this revered "me" time. Just live your life like Ma and Pa; enjoy the little bits of "me" time that naturally fit into any given day. Don't try to force it, or schedule it, or agonize over it. When your kids are grown and gone and you retire you are going to find you have a lot more "me" time than you ever wanted. Go visit any lonely person in a retirement home if you don't believe me.
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